Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s still here.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

The sadness was still there.

Has any man licked his wife's vagina while another man had sex with her?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

I was tired of trying and failing.

What are your thoughts on a Russian poetry prize banning entries from transgender people? Why is Russia so transphobic?

And the sadness?

It’s here now, writing to you.

Be who you already are.

Exploring the cosmos fills us with wonder, Pope tells scientists - Vatican News

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

I was tired of fighting.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

When a dog smells another dog’s poo or wee, do they then remember that scent for when they smell it again, or even further know which dog they are smelling if they know the dog?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

What are you struggling with in your life? What would you like to have instead?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Time (physics): Who started counting our current time or is it just "set" by some scientific measure?

I had run out of hope.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

What are some life hacks for living on your own?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

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Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

You are like me, then.

Are there any political parties or groups that have a mix of conservative and liberal beliefs? Why are they not as prominent in the media?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.